the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize