He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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