can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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