The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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