Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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