when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So much rum. So many feels.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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