so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
