He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
