Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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