He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
