Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize