what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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