I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
