I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
