Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
