Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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