areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
