Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
