Sponge bath it is.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize