I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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