Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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