i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize