never play flip cup with pint glasses
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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