yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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