Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
