We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize