i would punch a child for taco bell
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
