I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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