if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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