i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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