i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
