so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
