We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
