well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
After last night, I could never be a politician.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize