oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
too bad you live with your parents still
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize