I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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