Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
