Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
