i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize