At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
