I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
