I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
