ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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