I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
