either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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