Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
