Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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