I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
