So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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