So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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