it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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