You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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