sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
