You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize