1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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