yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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