the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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