absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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