he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
