I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
